Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize