She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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