Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Let's get the cat blown out
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
