i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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