I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
