No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
