i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
only if we run a train.
done.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
