Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
