period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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