Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
