He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
