the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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