I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
