hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
there is glitter all over my balls
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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