Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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