dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
