Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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