I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There r osticjed everywhere
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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