Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You dont lie about slip and slides
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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