Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
this will be a night to untag.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
