having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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