I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
