don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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