Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
