my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
