Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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