I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
