weddingsv make me drug and hornr
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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