Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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