just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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