Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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