I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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