he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
