Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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