Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
