I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
