Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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