I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
