let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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