More tranny stories later!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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