He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Randomize
