smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
