If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She announced her abortion via fbk
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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