Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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