Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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