It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
