he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
