My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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