1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
