I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have feelings that need drinking.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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