Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
