am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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