Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
