some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
