you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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