Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize