I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
