You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
