He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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