I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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