There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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