So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You can't just leave with hair like that
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
