Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Nicole vs. Life
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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