just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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