Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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