my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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