Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
this boner is exhausting
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
