3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
honey bunches of taint.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
