So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
