Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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