Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
