What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
