Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize