Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
