yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
