Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize